「淘汰」
我说了所有的谎
你全都相信
简单的我爱你
你却老不信
你书里的剧情我不想上演
因为我喜欢喜剧收尾

我试过完美放弃
的确很踏实
醒来了 梦散了
你我都走散了
情歌的词何必押韵
就算我是k歌之王
也不见得把爱情唱得完美

只能说我输了
也许是你怕了
我们的回忆没有皱折
你却用离开烫下句点

只能说我认了
你的不安得到你信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰…

This is one sad song for my penang buddy. Sing it loud once, try the very last time and move on:)

For some reason people around me these days are talking non-stop about relationship. Looks like everyone is dying to get a girlfriend. A taiwanese 28-year old colleague is so desperate that he is considering match.com. Every now and then a few of us will hangout and discuss the master plan of getting girlfriends. Empty talk though, i didn't see anyone taking any action. The fact is that there are too little girls in engineering field. My group is chung-ling like, about 95% male. A few days ago I was watching "我猜“. My roommate and I are so addicted to this show that we never fail to watch it every sunday. Apart from being funny, this show frequently invites cute taiwanese girls, which is super entertaining for losers like us. So the last episode features some "hot nurses". Right away i realized i make a BIG mistake 5 years ago. I was given a chance to study medicine in UK. Instead, i took engineering which now looks like a path leading to monk-hood. The freaking doctor probably has the best female-male ratio working environment...haha. Anyway, everytime when we talk about this topic, i am usually the one who says "nah, i am still young, only 24, wait a few years more". My colleague is like "that was exactly what I said 4 years ago". Please tell me that's not a curse.

So where exactly my problem is. Undeniably there aren't that many girls in my field. I know i need to expand my social circle to reach out, which I did. The fact is I actually have some girl friends around, but I just don't see the right one yet. Some friends even thought that i was joking when I said i really cannot find girlfriend. My best friend in penang keeps telling me that the good ones are gone. Well, how do you define a good one? Or maybe I did see one, but she is like in "it's complicated" status as quoted from facebook or friendster. I hate competition so that's an off again. Things get messy when too many people involved. I don't like to hurt and being hurt, so i choose to stay away. Indeed this kind of limbo situation is complicated and frequently reminds me of the one I met in university. I love this song that precisely describes how miserable that is:

緋聞男友

人家怎講　我不管也吧
而我在意　是假的可以變真嗎
到處亦有人撞過　我在和你交往
很多緋聞　可惜和你意願　略有偏差

＊傳聞在說　你正跟我　秘密拍拖
　然而預知了後果　手也未夠膽拖
　要是你心　可以容納我
　何必一拖幾季　還是再拖
　(何必一波幾折　還沒結果)

　傳聞又說　你會給我　點唱愛歌
　來回地聽了十遍　都不似送給我
　當有人說你　極其襯我
　在那一刻　先最難過
　(面帶歡喜　心裡難過)＊

無須祝福　我早知結局
傳我共你　被講多幾次也心足
暗裡若有人問我　會認和你一對
這種虛榮　即使無法兌現　未算委曲

問我該怎麼慶賀

Call me a loser, even if she is single, i doubt that i have the courage to take a step further. I think my first rejection that happened years back did have some kind of lasting effect.

Even worse, some friends said the reason i am single because i aim too high. Do I? For this I want to fill up my facebook status: Looking for: whatever I can get!